I think it is extremely important to keep in touch with your own self. This means on an emotional level, to understand and pinpoint the exact feeling at a moment in time; on a physical level, to accept yourself no matter the changes occurring; and on a spiritual level, because knowing your sense of morality is important to continue being the person you want to be. How can you possibly love yourself if you're unaware that you do the very things you despise of others?
Those who know me, know I pride being an intellectual, wearing my heart on my sleeve. I think that having a fear of what someone might think of your feelings is the worst pain in all the world. I know that being blunt about how you feel is hard and sharing your emotions can make or break a relationship. It is a scary feeling. But what I do know, is that you're always going to feel more pain out of bottling up the truth rather than sharing your emotions and facing indifferences.
We all want to feel accepted. We are all born to yearn to be loved. We can not let the fear of losing someone or something get in the way of the truth.
Today I'm sharing the feeling of bitter heart ache, and I'm unafraid to say that. I must identify how hurt I am, in order to be happy again. I am allowing others to love me the way I need to be loved, by clearly showing my fears. I know I cannot control my emotions singlegandedly. I know I may lose people I love by sharing and asking for the truth, however I know I will lose more, and in a devastating manner if I never know how he/she truly feels and how one processes the feeling.
Right now, I am living in a global pandemic due to Covid-19, a virus infecting the world. I am unable to see family and lifelong friends and unable to leave my home. Right now, every one could use a friend. I will not lie and pretend to be happy, because I know one cannot love me fully if I am not loving myself. I am working on being completely honest about my feelings because I want to be loved how I love others; sincerely and wholeheartedly. I can live in this pandemic happy, or I can live in fear. In time, this too shall pass.
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